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I am in a state

Journal Entry: Sun Aug 12, 2007, 6:42 PM
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I am in a right state right now.

I'm completely disgusted with myself and my Manga art. I am my own wosrt critic. I have deleted everything from my Scraps and Gallery. I am going to re-do them and re-do them until I feel I am close to the Artists I hold in the Highest Regard.

I'm also deleting them from all other Galleries I have them in.

Maybe once I get much better with Photoshop and Paint Shop Pro, Backgrounds, layers, pencil shading and pencil crayon shading That look better than like I was doing it only in a passing thought. I'll repost them.

Seeing some of my works done by others makes me kick myself repeatedly... and saying why can't I get/do a background? why can't I create subtle and beautiful shading/colours? why can't I do layers?

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  • Mood: Disgust
  • Listening to: Inuyasha CD's,DepecheMode,Gackt
  • Reading: BelovedLiterary Goddesses/God stories, Mangas
  • Watching: Kenshin,IY,X-ingJordan,Mythbustrs
  • Playing: Mahjong... using Nakkie Inu piccies
  • Eating: Pocky, Fortune Cookies, Carrots
  • Drinking: CreamSoda, GreenT, PeppermintT

Devious Comments

love 1 1 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 3 3 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0

Oh no! Why'd you do that? Not everyone is going to have the same style and skill, and some of those you're comparing yourself to have probably had a lot of art classes. There was nothing wrong with your pencil sketches. In fact, they were much better than a lot of fanart that is on here.

On top of that, if you deleted them all, you also deleted one that was on the ballot at the FA. I'm pretty certain that "Kagome is Mine" was on the ballot for battle scene. People think enough of your art to nominate it. There's a lot out there that never gets any kind of recognition.

I really wish you wouldn't be so hard on yourself. You don't know how many times I've nearly trashed an entire chapter, only to have it have more good responses than the ones I actually liked. You need to have a little more faith.

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*doggieearlover ^~^ [link]

"...I'm afraid the only broken heart I had the ability to heal was yours.” Kagome to InuYasha in Blood & Tears
I don't have backgrounds, except for Kagome is MINE, and I felt they were "fuzzy" and "smeared/smudged".... Not at all.. What I feel is my best. I have these tools at my disposal and I can't even use them to the fullest. Heck, my comics I have done them some many times now it isn't funny. I guess I also feel pretty ashamed of my works.

I have several Piccies posted up so I have a goal to achieve.

Don't think I'll be getting any awards.. I really don't think I'm good enough for it. Getting nommed is more than I even expect.

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I am an Inu ear-rubbing obessed female... recovering.. :blush: :blushes: sometimes.. maybe... :XD::boogie:
That Cheeses my Bites ... Melt my 'mellows
I bought a tin foil hat from shortki
i am not an expert in photoshop, but if it is something i have experience in, i'm happy to offer tips/advice. :D
No! I love your work!

Don't put yourself down. Beware of comparativitis...it's one of the nastiest soul poisons. Experiment and find out what works for YOU, not what everybody else does.

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“We might knit that knot with our tongues that we shall never undo with our teeth” -- John Lyly
I may take you up on it... How does one clean up their line art?

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I am an Inu ear-rubbing obessed female... recovering.. :blush: :blushes: sometimes.. maybe... :XD::boogie:
That Cheeses my Bites ... Melt my 'mellows
I bought a tin foil hat from shortki
I only did a few that I'm proud of but they aren't enough for they need more.. and I'm ashamed of not being able to do it.

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I am an Inu ear-rubbing obessed female... recovering.. :blush: :blushes: sometimes.. maybe... :XD::boogie:
That Cheeses my Bites ... Melt my 'mellows
I bought a tin foil hat from shortki
But you may be trying to do mediums that aren't your strength. Or you may need more technical training. Or different tools.

To be honest to your drive for art, you can't beat yourself up...but you should keep playing around with methods and mediums that make you happy. And don't get perfectionist.

I know if I got perfectionist, I wouldn't post half of my poems or most of my journal articles!

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“We might knit that knot with our tongues that we shall never undo with our teeth” -- John Lyly
don't feel lonely I feel I have to redo my art one day b/c I feel I am not getting any better though I have gotten better

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When you dream, dream big. I never did pot ever in my life so i am part of the 2%
Isn't it annoying when it happens.. and you can't not leave it alone.. sighs.. and yes you are getting better every day!!

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I am an Inu ear-rubbing obessed female... recovering.. :blush: :blushes: sometimes.. maybe... :XD::boogie:
That Cheeses my Bites ... Melt my 'mellows
I bought a tin foil hat from shortki
I'm already there at must be a Perfectionists. I think I am having problems with finding the right combination. I wish there was a Manga class near me where I could go.

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I am an Inu ear-rubbing obessed female... recovering.. :blush: :blushes: sometimes.. maybe... :XD::boogie:
That Cheeses my Bites ... Melt my 'mellows
I bought a tin foil hat from shortki

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